Blogging can unintentionally (or intentionally for some!) serve as a catalogue of the most amusing, inspiring, creative, and informative moments of one’s life. Thus, some blogs portray nothing but perfection in one’s life, and others, nothing but raw vices. This blog has never stood in the place of a personal journal, nor as a window into the private scapes of relationship that I travel. And yet, there have been specific times in the course of my 2 1/2 years of blogging, that I’ve been burdened to voice the real struggles and imperfections in my own life–ultimately for the edification of others, and to the glory of God.
My marriage is not perfect. Far from it. We struggle with sin, habits, expectations, communication, selfishness, tiredness, stress…like any other couple. The Lord has done amazing work beyond anything we could have hoped to accomplish in the last 11 years of our marriage. But for those of you who have entered the second decade of your marriage with multiple children, you may attest to the fact that at times it may feel that life gets harder, sin becomes more obvious, and the phileo love within a marriage strangely difficult to keep alive.
Though it fell on Valentine’s Day, we knew our heavy, teary talk today about our marriage had less to do with hearts and flowers, and more to do with taking an honest look at our continued pursuit of one another in this stage of our relationship. Does any other couple out there resonate with the feeling of being teammates, rather than best friends at times? We may even strive to be biblical in our interaction with one another; and yet, without a gratefulness that results in affection for the other, our actions are but gongs that lack sweet melody. Don’t we want to come out on the other side of career, parenting, serving, better friends…more affectionate…tender, rather than tolerant?
We said yes.
So, with our eye on having a deeper, fuller, happier, gigglier, sweeter, more alive marriage in our second decade, we celebrated Valentine’s Day repenting and re-affirming. Growing in the Word, weekly dates, love notes, more kisses…some of the ways we desire to be intentional in putting our hands to the plow. It is work–but it’s the best kind.
This is the slideshow the Preacher had put together for me for Valentine’s Day. Fitting, for we know that no matter how great the task of loving is, by God’s grace we can do anything.
Thank you for letting me share my heart. May our marriages grow in grace.
Grace and Peace,
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i can very much relate to this. thanks for your honesty and vulnerability. it helps to know we are all on the same imperfect journey to be HIS perfection in us, striving to work together and glorify God in our marriages. especially when the road gets bumpy or we fall into “duty”…praying for you guys, as i continue to pray for my own marriage for these things as well.
Hi. Love you. We’ve been at the “rest stop” where we couldn’t go farther until everything was forgiven and forgotten, and then we knew we had to take a completely different road to get where we wanted to go to in our relationship. Forgiveness for us was the key. My man is much more obedient and quicker to forgive than I am. It humbles and challenges me. I have so much to learn. Thank you Lord for each new day to start anew!
What a treasure that video is, and such a testimony of his love for you that he spent time putting it together. Much more lasting than flowers and perfume. You two are a testimony of 1 Corinthians 13. The scripture itself testifies that marriage is not simple, nor easy, but by God’s grace, can be a beautiful thing.
Hi Ruth! Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this! We, too, have often found ourselves in that exact same place of tag teaming life with kids in the chaos of all that goes on around us and we can sure relate! We are entering our third decade together and we still have wrestled with this off and on during different seasons and God is so faithful to open our eyes to our sin and selfishness and redirect our hearts back to Him and to each other. I really appreciated reading your post and your honesty! Thank you! :O) Bari
Wow, thanks so much for sharing. Your words resonated with me. Thank you for the honesty and encouragement.
Thanks, ladies, for the encouragement. God is good. We love because He loved us first!!
This made me cry–both your words and the sweet video. Praying for you guys and so thankful for your example!
What a beautiful, beautiful video… so many glorious smiles. Thank you for sharing your heart and in so doing challenging each of us.
Thank you for your honesty. A beautiful post into the humility a godly relationship should portray.