Blogging can unintentionally (or intentionally for some!) serve as a catalogue of the most amusing, inspiring, creative, and informative moments of one’s life. Thus, some blogs portray nothing but perfection in one’s life, and others, nothing but raw vices. This blog has never stood in the place of a personal journal, nor as a window into the private scapes of relationship that I travel. And yet, there have been specific times in the course of my 2 1/2 years of blogging, that I’ve been burdened to voice the real struggles and imperfections in my own life–ultimately for the edification of others, and to the glory of God.
My marriage is not perfect. Far from it. We struggle with sin, habits, expectations, communication, selfishness, tiredness, stress…like any other couple. The Lord has done amazing work beyond anything we could have hoped to accomplish in the last 11 years of our marriage. But for those of you who have entered the second decade of your marriage with multiple children, you may attest to the fact that at times it may feel that life gets harder, sin becomes more obvious, and the phileo love within a marriage strangely difficult to keep alive.
Though it fell on Valentine’s Day, we knew our heavy, teary talk today about our marriage had less to do with hearts and flowers, and more to do with taking an honest look at our continued pursuit of one another in this stage of our relationship. Does any other couple out there resonate with the feeling of being teammates, rather than best friends at times? We may even strive to be biblical in our interaction with one another; and yet, without a gratefulness that results in affection for the other, our actions are but gongs that lack sweet melody. Don’t we want to come out on the other side of career, parenting, serving, better friends…more affectionate…tender, rather than tolerant?
We said yes.
So, with our eye on having a deeper, fuller, happier, gigglier, sweeter, more alive marriage in our second decade, we celebrated Valentine’s Day repenting and re-affirming. Growing in the Word, weekly dates, love notes, more kisses…some of the ways we desire to be intentional in putting our hands to the plow. It is work–but it’s the best kind.
This is the slideshow the Preacher had put together for me for Valentine’s Day. Fitting, for we know that no matter how great the task of loving is, by God’s grace we can do anything.
Thank you for letting me share my heart. May our marriages grow in grace.
Grace and Peace,