A Psalm
of Ruth
Lord, I have laid out my desires before you.
Nothing of my heart has been hidden from my creator.
I have pleaded with you day and night, year after year
That we may taste the joyous fruit of a little doe
That our home would be filled with the sound of a girl’s song
That four young men would grow up protecting a sweet sister.
But your answer to your servant is like a winter’s snow:
Still, silent, and beautiful, but bitter to my bones.
Your purposes are not yet known to my heart and your ways are a mystery
I cry out to you for comfort and for assurance in this death of a dream
Yet You, O God, are sovereign and holy
You are ever enthroned upon my weary heart
For You are worthy
Who can count Your mercies and Your loving ways?
Your salve comes to me as I step into the the shadow of the cross
And gaze up to see that every comfort and promise to me
Is accomplished and finished there.
My quiver is full, and my only true longing is for the arrows to reach
The target of You, to shoot straight and to not miss the mark.
My soul will determine to give thanks and seek humility
For You guard my heart to love nothing more than You
For Your love is jealous for me and wholly self-exalting all at once
You’ve rescued your servant from self-sufficiency to the light of dependency
And use my imperfections for the glory of Your name
Is there anything greater that my heart could desire?
Blessed is the sovereign and loving name of the Lord,
Who’s ways are greater than the eye can see
Or the heart can feel
And the mind can imagine.
Praise be to Him from whom all gifts are Good.
Please join us in the joyful anticipation of baby boy No. 5!
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Hey!! So exciting! Boys are such blessings! You will get your girls in daughters in love!! We have such a great God! Hey, being the only girl isn’t bad:) I think it’s totally great!! So happy for you!
Ruth, your words are so beautiful! Not everyone (not me) can express themselves so well. Thank you for sharing your heart with us and being so honest with God and with us. We rejoice with you knowing that all of God’s ways are good for His children. 5 boys! How wonderful!!! God has great work ahead for you and Troy as you aim those arrows strong and true to be ready to lead the battle for the family as they, one day before long, strike out as leaders of their own homes. Culture changers, statesmen, godly fathers… yes, you are blessed beyond measure!
Beautifully written, Ruth. May His name be ever praised.
Glory to God. So well said.
Rejoicing with you in the growing and full quiver…
And I’ll be rereading this often.
Much love to you!
Wow, love it (and love you!) I’m blessed to be auntie so many wonderful boys, and can’t wait to meet my newest nephew.
Just beautiful. Love your heart. Love you!
With tears and deep, deep joy…….
From your so very thankful and proud
Mama
Amazing Ruth! Praise the Lord, indeed. Thanks for setting such a beautiful example of what it looks like to accept what God has planned for us, even when its not the first think we wanted. I will be referring to this when I need a perspective change in the future.
ruth, this is amazing. thank you for so honestly sharing your heart. beautiful. thank you. love you.
Ruth,
Thank you for sharing your heart and the honest grieving that is taking place. God will fill those places in your heart for daughter one day, in a good and perfect way. You know that…
Not to mention the Lord is handing you a beautiful compliment regarding your ability to raise Godly men! Those of us with daughters who pray already for their one-day husbands are encouraged!
Love from Indy,
Jen
From one who is barren, I give you a huge hug as I know what it feels like to have desires for children that are not realized! It is a terrible grief that is usually surrounded by words of “but look what you DO have. Get over it!”. (Like Job’s friends, I always thought) May it be a healing salve to you to say that I grieve a similar unanswered prayer and write a similar psalm with you.
However, not knowing if you would ever consider a 6th, I had a friend who desparately wanted a girl after many boys. It is an inexpensive procedure to separate your husband’s seed into “girls and boys” and insemenate only the girls. She has a 6 year old princess now! Just a thought.
You are such a wonderful mama to those boys. I love your heart, Ruth.
Thanks for this Psalm, Ruth.
I have a little boy – an arrow, as you put it – who reached the Father’s arms first, instead of mine. Your words are a comforting reminder that God is both the Sovereign Remover and also the Giver of comfort. I pray that He will speak words of peace to your aching heart. (Isaiah 40:11…♥)
Wow, this is so beautifully written Ruth. Your honesty and pain brought me to tears. The Lord has a wonderful plan for you and the boys he has placed in your life. You will soon get your daughters when they grow up and fall in love.
And there could also be granddaughters! 
thanks for writing this, the part about the snow really resonated with me. i have an amazing son, and i long for another baby, a girl, really. we haven’t been able to conceive (yet?). trying to trust and wait in hope. it’s so hard sometimes.
friend. i don’t have the time to leave a proper response, but i must say something. thank you for this. i could have written this myself. so glad you linked this today! xo
Oh Hannah–I wish we had time to sit over coffee and swap stories. I’m so glad the Lord saw fit to bring us together.
Oh can I relate. Love that it is a psalm. My counselor told me just like David we can feel two things at once. Deep sadness and also deep gratitude. The loss of a dream and the faith that God knows what He is doing. Bless you and your mighty warriors. I hear boy moms don’t die they go straight to heaven.
you are an angel in my book!
I’m so glad to have connected with you, a like-hearted mom of boys. I so look forward to getting to know you better, Heather!