“Six days old?! Awww…how sweet. So…1, 2, 3, 4…5 boys?!?”
“Yes…” I respond, to the good looking couple on their way to a workout.
“I’m sorry,” interjects the husband, not even cracking a smile.
“We’re so blessed,” I offer.
I’ve grown accustomed to the general public reacting with exhaustion, pity, sympathy, and bafflement when they discover I have five boys 2 years apart.
As worn out as I feel at times, I would never want anyone to feel sorry for me in what God has planned for us. He makes no mistakes; He never gives second best. Even when our hearts’ longings are not met with the answers we would choose for ourselves, God is faithful to replace doubt with truth, disappointment with gratitude.
What circumstance or reality in your life may incite another’s pity or bewilderment? Rather than allow discouragement or bruised pride to set in and affect your thinking, may we be encouraged to consider all of God’s dealings with us in the light of Truth and His character.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
James 1:17
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Children are just not valued in this country and it makes me so sad. I’ve seen this happen to mothers of three children- and if you have more, than you can expect comments like that. Such truth you offer here, Ruth. He makes no mistakes and children are indeed precious and wonderful! I hope my boys will take note of my cheerful and thankful response when I experience comments like these. I’m not sorry either!
I completely agree, Renee….our society really cannot understand why anyone would have lots of children. They are so undervalued in so many ways.
I feel sorry for people who think having 5 boys is something to be sorry about! You’re so privileged and blessed to be Mama to your little men…and you’re great at it!
God is so good and gracious in all things.
Ruth,
I get the same reaction when people learn that I have 4 boys. Especially from new people at church. But you are so right. I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything! Thank you for posting this today.
And I know you know that “5 boys” isn’t the one determining factor for people to say idiotic things to you. In my now 38 years on this earth I have grown accustomed to people, generally, not knowing what to say in any given circumstance. The less someone knows you the more of a chance there is for them to say something they shouldn’t say, period. You just have to laugh about it I think.
To the young man on the way to the work out who barfed out, “I’m sorry,” I think I might have said, “It’s okay. Thanks. I know that 5 are a blessing… and, Lord willing, we’ll have 7 more before we know it. I appreciate your understanding though. How many boys do you have?”
Yes, Noel, that IS what I should have said…because 7 more is what we were thinking…
I COMPLETELY understand this response! We have 4 girls and people are always asking oh my why would you want four girls? What were you thinking? And apologizing.
It makes me angry, and sad. All at the same time.
I fee SO incredibly blessed to have four healthy beautiful girls.
I wouldn’t want anything else.
Just like you ‘we’re so blessed.’
xoxo
I am NOT sorry either!
I am so very proud of you, Daughter, and I know you are the most blessed wife and Mama. ( I am the most blessed Mama and Grandma!)
Our Lord, Jesus Christ, You are SO GOOD!!!
You are sooooooo blessed! It took 4 miscarriages and 3 failed adoptions before God gave us a child. The next year He graciously blessed us with one more! Children are a blessing from God! Continue to enjoy and cherish the love (children) God has given to you!
Love from a blog reader in Seattle.
Ruth,
Thank you for showing your love for children by welcoming yet *another!* blessing into your home. God calls children (all children) a blessing, why would we do otherwise? I so hope the Lord blesses you and Troy with 7 more (boys if He so wills, but I know you’d welcome what He gives). You two are doing a great job with your precious treasures. You are blessed and are a blessing to others by calling what God calls good, good indeed!
Hugs to you and yours!,
Linda
Hi Ruth! One of my friends shared your blog with me this morning. The reason she thought I should read it is b/c I’m a mom of 5 boys!! My oldest will be 10 this month, then I have an 8 year old, a 7 year old and almost 3 year twins. See I have always desperately wanted a little girl, so when our 3rd son was 3 we decided to try one more time for a girl and were completely fine with having another boy. At 14 weeks I found out that I was not carrying one boy, I was carrying TWO boys!! What a shock! And a clear message from God that we were intended to be the parents of boys, to raise them up to be mighty warriors for His kingdom! What an honor!
I get those same comments and looks and smirks all the time. It’s so hurtful!! To suggest that any of my precious boys are a mistake is crime! I totally know how you feel. Thanks for sharing your heart! Be blessed and I will now be a faitful reader!
Oh my… just today a man told me (in a “poor you” pathetic kind of way), “Two boys? You have your hands full…” And I replied with a big smile on my face, “Yes I do! Full of treasure!” And then my oldest son says to this man, “Yeah- we’re mommy’s treasures!” My heart just melted that my little boy knows the truth. He’s very loved and valued! The man was surprised at our response and actually cracked a smile! That was a great moment.
You are so very blessed. Just last night our oldest daughter had a slumber party (her first!) and our living room was filled with girls (including our three). Michael and I stood staring at them before I asked him, Could we have this many daughters? His response, “Maybe someday it could be.” Our heart is for a big family although we have not be able to be as biologically blessed as you have been. Enjoy those boys (even though there is vomit and no sleep
). Thanks for finding the time to keep sharing and encouraging the rest of us (and let us know if we can encourage you in some way!)
Amen, amen, amen. God is so good and so richly blesses.
Congratulations to you and your beautiful family. I rejoice with you!
Oh Ruth, I love this! With Moses being 26 months, Sarah just turning one and now being 28 weeks pregnant with #3 I am getting so many comments. My lease favorite: Haven’t you figured out what causes that yet? I had no idea that wanting to have a large family.. and have them close together was so counter cultural! I’m so encouraged that so many mama’s agree that these children are GIFTS!!
I stumbled across your blog through Facebook and find your posts so encouraging! As a mother of 4 under 5 (2 boys, 2 girls) I have gotten all the same thoughtless comments. Sometimes it feels like the whole world’s against you, so it really neat to hear from other moms who have lots of little blessings too! Congratulations on your beautiful new baby boy – he was born just a week after my baby girl!
Agreed! I just had my fourth boy (3 weeks today!) and can’t leave the house without hearing the same thing. And often not even from strangers. But, wow do I feel blessed to have my boys. And no… we didn’t have four in an attempt to get a girl. I love my boys and can’t imagine it any other way. Thanks for sharing.
Hey Ruth,
I was thinking about how different the outlook is here in India. Here they actually have a wedding blessing that says, “May you be the mother of a hundred sons”. To this culture, ya’lls family is extremely blessed- And according to our heavenly culture, we know you are too!
We love you guys so much and are thankful for the example you are to us……
Blessings,
That’s interesting, Mica! Thanks for the encouragement, friend. He makes no mistakes and is so good!
loved this so much!
I am so happy that you realize how abundantly you are blessed. It is sad when the world sees more than 2 or 3 children be a bad thing. Makes you shutter when you realize where that kind of thinking leads in our culture. I envy you (in a good way!) to have so many surrounding you. Blessings to you and I am praying for you through your pregnancy!
Congrats! You should look up Catherine Garcia-Pratts. She raised 10 sons and wrote a couple of books about her parenting experiences.
Thanks, Heather. That sounds like a great resource!
first. i love these sweet photos.
also, yes. the ‘pity’ and sympathy card business(yes. received actual sympathy cards!) over things like autism diagnosis…honestly, we are not sorry either, but are battling anger at times others seems ‘so sad’ for us.
grateful for a god who makes us more(as you mentioned today!) and gives us the strength to handle these strange but blessed circumstances. HE IS ALWAYS GOOD.
xo