I must admit: I’m not a naturally good homemaker. Who really is, anyway?
If homemaking is simply shopping for home accoutrements, making pretty pillows (or pinning pretty pillows on Pinterest you intend to make), rearranging furniture, or baking cookies, then yes–I think we all would say we enjoy homemaking. But, if the real work at home involves laundry waiting to be put away, dishes that need handwashing, runaway socks that lurk about, meals that I love to make but hate to clean up after, and the ever elusive phantom dust bunnies that laugh at me from the corners of the house–then, the cultivation of a heart for homemaking is a paradigm shift and not a natural disposition.
Working in the home is just that. It’s work. Our culture as seen in television would have us believe that staying at home is either the privilege of frolicking from the gym, to lunch with girlfriends, to getting pedicures; or, that it is a demeaning waste of intellectual giftedness. We rarely see an example, in our culture, of diligent homemaking– let alone, with an inspiring attitude. And yet, the work of the home was not given to us as a burden, but as an honor and attitude of the heart.
In this month’s chapter of Feminine Appeal, author Carolyn Mahaney peels back the layers of what it is to work in the home. Through biblical examples and biographical references, Carolyn helps us get to the heart of homemaking:
“Remember our ultimate mission in emulating the Titus 2 lifestyle? By ‘working at home’ we can present the gospel as attractive to unbelievers. Our homes can actually be a showcase for the gospel!” (p. 113)
Our adorning the gospel with our attitude and diligence in working in our home has everything to do with our motivation, our priorities, and our willingness to give our time to that which is truly a blessing to our husbands and family, and not simply for our own enjoyment. This is not formulaic, but an issue of discernment. If you struggle to sort through how to prioritize opportunities outside the home while balancing needs within the home, Carolyn offers great questions that can help you with that discernment:
“What are my reasons for considering this opportunity? Are they selfish or God-honoring?”
“Will pursuing this venture glorify God and honor the gospel?
“Is this an undertaking that will help my husband?”
“Will it enhance and enrich the lives of my family?”
“Does this endeavor hinder my role as caretaker of my home?”
(p. 105)
As we each seek to respond by faith to the honor of diligently working at home, we can find great encouragement in this:
“Our houses need not resemble a page from House Beautiful magazine. Regardless of their size and style or our financial status, our homes can exude warmth and provide refreshment for all who walk through their doors. They should be pleasant havens for our husbands and children, sanctuaries where we offer care and hospitality to other Christians, and gateways from which we extend the gospel to family, friends, and neighbors.” (p. 114)
Haven. Sanctuary. Gateway. What wonderful inspiration for what our homes can be. When Christ is the source and the audience….we can surely know the joy of such honor.
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Ruth, thanks so much for this post! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and am just now introducing myself.
I so enjoy reading about being a follower of Christ, wife, and, mom, especially as a newlywed (we’ve been married a little over a year) and expecting our first in July! I was a nurse before I got married but the Lord has blessed me now with being a stay-at-home-wife . . . yet there are still times when that desire to work outside the home rears its head up . . . like yesterday, when it seemed like I spent most of the afternoon doing dishes and just getting the kitchen in order! 
It is the truth!, and Titus calls it so well . . . we are not just ornaments for our husbands when we stay at home, we are managers of the home! Sometimes I am tempted to manage in a lackluster way, but this is exactly what the devil and my own fleshly laziness wants me to believe – that this job is what anyone could do, that it doesn’t require talent, discipline, creativity. Praise the Lord that being a wife and homemaker can indeed be a noble thing because of Him! Thank you for your example and encouragement to others! – I know that the Lord sees and smiles at your heart motivation! Blessings to you and your family!
Megan–thanks for introducing yourself!! I so resonate your thoughts here. We are all individually gifted, and the Lord has placed us in exactly the homes and families that he chooses in order that we might know joy and bring him the most glory! Thank you for your encouraging words. I am humbled that you join me here!
I love this post, Ruth! It hits not only close to home with me, I’m pretty sure it just landed on my house!
After seeing how my duties as a Christian wife and mom were being abandoned by me working outside the home, I quit my job in an act of obedience. You’re right, the work isn’t glamorous in the world’s eyes, but suddenly as I see how it glorifies God, that’s all the glamour I need. Thank you for this post. I have the book in my garage and it’s time I dig it out and start reading!
Tess, LOL.
Thanks for your comment. I agree with you, that if we focus on the the glory of God, it really changes our perspective on what the reward is all about!
ruth, i LOVE this. need this reminder. such a beautiful perspective on how our homes should be! thank you much xo
As always, I’m so blessed by your warm presence here, Hannah!
This is a subject that I’ve been spending a lot of time pondering lately, and you pretty much hit everything that I’ve struggled with. It’s all the other things I devote my time to (like my Etsy shop) that take away from me making this the primary focus that it should be. Thanks so much for this post. It was a great read today!
I’m so glad this chapter spoke to you as much as it does me, Noelle. These things can be difficult to discern, so I think it is truly a matter of stepping back, and looking at what we want to be the focus of our day, and then really ask our husbands how we are or are not supporting them in the home. I’m often surprised at what The Preacher says when I ask him these things…
Ruth, loved this! I needed to read it today too. Its always a struggle to balance priorities and make good, healthy, eternal use of time.
Thanks friend!
Hugs,
Jen
That’s just it, Jen…”eternal use of time”. I’m praying to that end also.
Ruth,
ALL of the things you shared in this post have been on my heart and a constant discussion point with the Lord these past few weeks. Thank you so much for your biblical perspective on these issues. 
Hello! I’ve been on your blog a few times and LOVE all that you have to share. I also am a church planters wife!
Chris
Mrs. Simons, you say this so all well. Your joy for being home and learning to love what you know you ought is so inspiring. I can only hope and wait to get to put this into in a home of my own. The readiness with which you have to make sure what you are doing (dishes, teaching, or decorating) is contagious: Thanks for sharing a peek into your heart. And I love your pictures–such cute little guys!
I hope you all are doing well. =)
Sorry for being tardy to “class”; it’s been a busy week. This chapter really hit home with me; of course, I suppose most of the chapters have. I have struggled with the issue of staying home for the past 10 years. I was whisked away from the path that I was leading by the strong arm of the Lord. My dream never realized has haunted me for the past 10 years. But, let me put the emphasis on MY! The Lord had other plans. I was in graduate school, well on my way to fame and recognition within my discipline, when my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew that I would stay home for the many unknown years ahead. While I finished up my PhD within our daughter’s first year, I have never used it. Over the years, my sadness of it has diminished as the Lord has pressed me further and further into the profession that has an eternal purpose — not a purpose to feed my own pride and recognition.
So much of what Carolyn said struck at the very center of my heart issues.
- The fact that she cared more about the questionnaire reader than the One who led her into homemaking – that’s been me!
- Emphasizing the questions as you did above, I need to carry a notecard around with me with those very questions on them to ask myself constantly.
- “Homemaking is a vocation often filled with mundane tasks and repetitive chores, most of which are performed in obscurity. It demands a colossal amount of serving and sacrifice.” (p.99) In light of this statement, I need to apply the questions. What is my purpose for serving and sacrificing? Oh, I so long for it to be for His glory and the eternal benefit of those who I serve.
-Finally, “Working at home must always remain a constant and ongoing priority in our lives.” (p.92) – But I must be Present when I am present! If I’m not going to engage my family and humbly serve them, I might as well get a job away from home.
Once again, Ruth, thank you for bringing us into this wonderful book. I love this monthly book club.
Much love,
Michelle
This post brought me to tears.
My home is a gateway and a entrance to whatever I want it to be.
May it be a doorway to grace, love and the Lord.
Rachel, that is exactly what I’ve been thinking on…and praying that I might steward well.
I know this is really late, but I have enjoyed reading everyones comments and enjoyed the blog. I have recieved alot of negativity from my Mom and Sister about choosing to be a stay at home mom. They worry that someone I will get cheated or am wasting time by not abtaining a career now. I obtained a bachalors degree, but outside of an internship haven’t utilized it…. My husband supports me staying at home, but my mom and sister mean so much to me so it hurts not getting much validation from them….
Thanks for allowing me to vent.
Val
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond, Valerie! I think many of us can relate to your struggle here. I personally did not hold staying home with my kids in high regard when I first became a mom. As the years have progressed, and as I’ve grown more in my walk with the Lord, I’ve come to consider it an absolute blessing, privilege, and an invaluable investment of my time and talents. Nothing goes to waste…the Lord knew what he was doing when he made you a mom. Trust Him to use you to build something great for Him…through your family.