I unload the second of four loads of laundry from the washer to the dryer. Number 5 comes toddling in, offering to help. I pick up my pace, wanting to quickly finish the task before a mess is made. I stop, mid-transfer, and remember–What am I in such a rush for? Little hands and wobbly little legs will not always follow me around. There will be many many days ahead when I will undoubtedly do laundry in a hauntingly quiet house. Make time for inefficiency, Ruth. They are opportunities for so much more.
So, I intentionally drop a few pieces of clean laundry (gasp!) clumsily to the ground while I continue to move a wet load of jeans to the dryer. “Oops!” I say, “Can you help me pick it up, Asa?” At 16 months, Number 5, could not be more confident that he is the solution to all cleaning and organization aspirations! My inefficiency provided a moment of glorious interaction with my otherwise in-the-way toddler. He giggles and chucks the clean laundry he rescues into the dryer, assured that he has a useful place in my busy day.
Do you choose efficiency over opportunity sometimes? Are there missed moments of interaction, humor, fun, and training that you miss as a parent, simply by being overly efficient with your tasks? I’m guilty of this regularly.
Indeed there are times when the children simply are not invited to chop vegetables at dinner time because of time constraint, or when it isn’t the right context to teach your oldest how to mow a lawn…timing is important. However, more often than not, we create chaos, lack of time, busyness, and inconvenience simply by defaulting to poor time management, rather than an intentional plan to make time for inefficiency.
I don’t know about you, but my kids need it. They need to know that there is time to get caught up in a discussion about something that’s been on their mind. They need to feel the freedom to try to do something around the house, and FAIL at it. They need to know that everything worth doing takes time.
What are some things you can be less efficient in for the purpose of including your children? What tasks can you sacrifice completely quickly in order to offer the opportunity to practice for your little one?
Our attitude towards how we approach the day in and day out is what really informs our children about living:
- Do you want your child to know perseverance? Then let them see you try, and try again.
- Do you want your child to attempt tasks they are not naturally gifted at? Then show them you are not good at everything either.
- Do you want your child to understand time management? Then model responsibility, and not procrastination, in your own life.
- Do you want your child to worship Christ, and not efficiency? Then make time to teach them that everything is done to Him, for Him, and through Him.
Dear friend, you will never get today to do over again. Ask the Lord for the wisdom to discern when to make time to linger, and when to simply get things done. Ask Him to show you if efficiency has become your idol. I know it has been mine many times. May our love and our worship of Christ, keep us from running the race fast, without running the race WELL.
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Thank you for sharing this lesson. It’s so worthwhile to consider the impact our actions have. I know when I was little I used to wish my parents would give me a little more time instead of focusing so much on everything that needed to be done.
I so desire that my kids will one day reflect that I had my priorities in check. Praise God for his grace and mercy in the midst of our imperfections!
Boy, did I need to hear this today! God has been dealing with me regarding this issue.
Thank you
Me too, Joy. So glad we are journeying together!
Yes! Thank you so much for sharing this! I have to remind myself daily to take pleasure in my children’s desire to be near me and help me. I remember all too well being the little girl in my mother’s kitchen when she didn’t have time for me to help. A child loves to be needed! Thanks for this reminder!
Your family is lovely and I’m so glad you posted something like this. I totally agree in involving the kids in doing chores. They learn precious lifeskills and the activities done together create a bond in the family. I remember also how I cringed the first time my children dropped the clean and neatly folded clothes while they were “helping” me out. I also tried really hard to refrain from reacting in horror when my 3 year old daughter washed the cup of milk all by herself (without soap!!!) without prompting and when my son took the keys and opened the door for me while I busy picking up the baby. It took a lot for me to praise them instead for their efforts and simply remind them to inform me beforehand what they decided to do. Of course, they are often more of a hinderance than a help cos I had to redo most of what they’ve done. But I notice them improving with time and the older 2 kids are becoming really great helpers to me. I don’t think I’ll have as many children as you but big families are simply so wonderful. God is good and keep up the good work!
Jaclyn, thanks so much for sharing. I so relate to your story! 3 yr. olds especially, try everything, and only succeed occasionally!
That’s how they learn though, right? Thanks for the encouragement, and blessings to your family!
Ruth,
So glad I went back to read some of your posts i didn’t end up reading earlier. I really needed to hear this one and am excited to not be in such a hurry and include Freeman in more things that I do around the house. In the tasks, but especially being intentional about him seeing me do that last list of bullet points you you wrote. So good! Thanks for the examples and reminders of whats important. Love you, Friend!
Such convicting words said so sweetly.
WOW, did I need to hear this!
thank you for sharing your heart in this! it is so easy to get caught up in making sure my “busy at home” is “efficient at home”. Several months after you’ve written this, my Asa is 16 months old tomorrow!! this blog was a gift to me from Jesus, so thank you for being a vessel.