I’m not a naturally hopeful person. In fact, I’d describe myself as realistic with a heaping dose of melancholy. Left up to my natural state, I’d likely think myself into a tizzy, work myself into depression, and drive myself and others around me nuts. I have it in me to be such a feeler and such a processor of all things that I can burden those around me, expecting more of myself and others than they were ever meant to give. You see, something in the heart of every person is longing for MORE. We’re all longing for the new beginning, the fresh start, the clean slate, the exciting future. But for those of us who are no longer wide-eyed children, for those of us who’ve walked the road of pain and disappointment…we’ve seen and felt reality: That just because the calendar turns to January 1st, not all things are […]
Yesterday was a bit of a disaster. It was the kind of day that made me think I believed in putting my kids in front of TV for hours and hours. It was the kind of day that made me frustrated to have five noisy boys who play loud and argue louder. It was the kind of day that started with good intentions and ended with much repentance. I could blame it on the kitchen remodel. Because yes, it is still total chaos around here. I could blame it on the first day of Christmas break. Doesn’t it seem like first day of break is always a bit weird? I could blame it on the pressure of being completely behind and unprepared for Christmas. Nope, not one present wrapped under the tree. I could blame it on the pregnancy hormones. Is it normal that I’m responding to stress with crying […]
If you must know, I cry a lot when I’m pregnant. I’ve been pregnant over Christmas all but one time, and each time, the sappy commercials get me. You know which ones… …the Folgers’ one where the son comes home for Christmas and the sister puts the bow on him because he’s her preset. *Sob.* …or the Kay Jewelers one where the woman is shocked to find that the ring she’s trying on fits…because he’s already sized it for his proposal. *Sob.* Or the finale of The Voice…alright, you get the idea. So when I say that something really moved me or made me cry, you may not think much of it. But this is different. Don’t dismiss this. Have you heard of I Like Giving? …an online campaign to inspire generous living. In small ways, in big ways, in surprising ways…in ways that inspire me and bring me to […]
It’s taken me all weekend to think, process, and respond to the horrific events of Friday. I have everything to say…and very few things at all. The death of innocent children, grieving parents, devastated communities, heartbroken nations– it’s not unlike the pain of war-torn countries, of genocide…of the events surrounding Jesus’ birth as Mary and Joseph escaped the egomania of King Herod. There has long been a precedent of the innocent suffering at the hands of the self-absorbed, cowardly, hateful, and evil. I’m deeply saddened by the devastating death of innocent school children and heroic teachers…but I’m not surprised. Honestly, I’m sometimes surprised that there isn’t more continuous destruction…that God has graciously restrained us from utterly destroying ourselves. I’m surprised when I see His grace hedging me in from the cliff of my own self-sufficiency, my deceptive pride, my self-righteous temper, and my wandering heart. Left up to myself, destructive, […]
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We took a walk down by the river a few weeks ago… …there’s nothing like the sound of crushed leaves beneath your feet paired with the cool autumn air. Everyone is off discovering something beyond the monotony of his everyday life… …gazing further than what can usually be seen from within the walls of your house… …and we discover these guys… …who seem to be sitting still and going nowhere… …but in reality, have already shed their infant shells… …and taken flight in their matured wings. Did you know that the cicada takes up to 17 years, nestled beneath the shelter of the soil, before it emerges ready to try out it’s adult wings? Be patient, Mama. This is but a short while…preparing them to shed that insufficient shell and take flight. What they will become is being molded day by day, hidden away in the safety of yours […]
The lady at the checkout greeted me with the obligatory “How are you today?” as my handful of grocery items ran through the register. As I was in a hurry to get home, I quickly replied, “I’m doing alright, thanks.” I smiled. She smiled. I ran my card, and was on my way. As I loaded my groceries into the back of my car, the thought crossed my mind: That gal has no idea what a crazy day I’m having, how overwhelmed I feel, how much I’m struggling with patience– how I’m attempting to homeschool, feed my family, and keep up with laundry in a home that is under major reconstruction…while living in it with five young boys. “Alright” just doesn’t really cut it. But no sooner did I finish that thought when another thought countered: I have no idea what kind of day she is having either! Does SHE feel overwhelmed […]
I have been long influenced and encouraged by the motherhood-mentoring heart of Sally Clarkson. My heart for homeschooling was largely shaped by the book she co-wrote with her husband, Clay: Educating the WholeHearted Child, and Sally’s The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child’s Heart for Eternity gave me a sweet perspective for all that I can impart to my children through home and heart. I met Sally at Allume in October. I immediately felt a kindred connection visiting with her. I was so honored when she asked me to join her team at Mom Heart, a site “where any mom can come to be encouraged, equipped, and enabled as a mother after God’s heart.” I’m excited to share that I will be a monthly contributor at Mom Heart. In addition, I will be attending my first Mom Heart conference in Denver in January. Wanna join me? I’d love to meet you if you plan […]
We say we believe that God is sovereign and God is good. We say that we believe He always does what is best for our lives. And yet, we don’t always respond to life’s circumstances with absolute trust, submission, and peace in our loving God. I know I don’t. In fact, I can recall the past six ultrasounds accompanying the last six pregnancies. The first ended in miscarriage and the subsequent ones revealed little boys added to our family. Each time I trusted in God’s plan, but each time I inwardly struggled through tears and disappointment in not getting to welcome a little girl in our lives. I even wrote a psalm about the disappointment last time with Number 5. I share this to give Him glory…to praise Him for transforming my heart. Not only was I not prepared for this pregnancy, I couldn’t imagine the Lord entrusting me with […]
Our family rarely gets sick. I’m so thankful– because in a family of 7, you’d think we would be sick all the time! However, when one of us falls ill, especially with a stomach bug, our entire family often goes down HARD. You may recall that week before and after the birth of Number 5. As a result, there is a bit of fear among the older boys when the beginnings of a virus starts making its way through our family. I can see it in their faces. I sense it in their questions. They are worrying. And, how can I blame them…as one lies in bed, waiting for the other’s tummy trouble on the bottom bunk to take its toll and rush his brother to the restroom. What is a boy to do but to worry about catching the virus, about the sleeplessness, the pain, the canceling of fun […]