Yesterday was a bit of a disaster. It was the kind of day that made me think I believed in putting my kids in front of TV for hours and hours. It was the kind of day that made me frustrated to have five noisy boys who play loud and argue louder. It was the kind of day that started with good intentions and ended with much repentance.
I could blame it on the kitchen remodel. Because yes, it is still total chaos around here. I could blame it on the first day of Christmas break. Doesn’t it seem like first day of break is always a bit weird? I could blame it on the pressure of being completely behind and unprepared for Christmas. Nope, not one present wrapped under the tree. I could blame it on the pregnancy hormones. Is it normal that I’m responding to stress with crying and nausea? I could blame it on all this…
…but ultimately, the remodel-the-boys-the-hormones-the-holidays didn’t make me have a defeating day. My expectations did.
I wanted a clean house.
I wanted cooperative children that wanted a clean house.
I wanted Christmas music playing, instead of yelling while we cleaned the house.
Do you see a theme here?
I wanted a clean house for comfort, for normalcy, for some sense of readiness for the warm, joyous occasion that is Christmas.
I’m not the only one who had expectations. Troy expected to make greater progress on wood flooring and cabinet painting. The boys expected ease. And, well, you know what my expectations were. You never realize that an expectation has become an idol until you’ve made sinful attitude choices in response to your unmet expectations.
And as the man of the house confessed his lack of patience to the boys at dinner, I looked around and realized: The first Christmas happened in a dirty stable. There were no glittering lights and scented candles. Baby Jesus was not born into the welcome of warm cookies and freshly wrapped presents. He was born to weary, but expectant hearts. He was born to trusting, obedient parents. He was born into a world in need of a full renovation.
Those who waited for Jesus’ arrival with expectancy for their own agenda were disappointed. Only the hearts that were expectant for His plan, His promise, His provision found rest and rejoicing.
I tell the boys at bedtime that we will try again tomorrow. We will try with expectant hearts…not expectant for our own selfish desires for comfort and happiness, but expectant for His.
Have a blessed weekend friends, setting your hearts in expectation of Him.
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oh i felt you in this. it’s so hard to continually die to self isn’t it? thank goodness we have a patient father who lovingly uses his spirit to correct, guide, and teach us.
what a blessing that God used your chaotic day to show his love to you and your boys. you and the preacher are great parents!
Thank you for the encouragement, Jenny! God is faithful to correct and mold us.! Blessings to you.
That is about the only thing you can do sometimes…try again tomorrow. I hope your today is just wonderful, and that your feel God’s arms around you, bringing you peace and joy.
Thanks, Barefoot Hippie Girl!
I’m thankful to be reminded that peace and joy can only come from one place. Have a great weekend!
We can very much relate. Beautifully written. And thank you for affirming what God has been putting on my heart about these days leading up to Christmas. Come, Lord Jesus!
Praising God for encouraging your heart in the same way He has been in mine. Miss you–have a blessed Christmas!
Love you friend.
Stopping to pray for you this morning…for an encouraging meshing of His agenda and yours and theirs today…. I need it too (an agenda shift).
Love you, Kara. Thanks for the prayer support and encouragement.
So needed this today! Thank you for sharing your heart and life with us. I’ve always struggled with disappointment when life doesn’t meet my selfish expectations. Praying God will continueto work on my heart as I seek His expectations rather than my own.
Ouch! I just realized the root of a sin that I’ve been repenting for daily of late. Thanks for giving me the mirror. I’ve needed to slow down and see this. Merry Christmas! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! I needed to hear this. 2 weeks before Christmas my family and I got sick and it lasted for 2 weeks. I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed because I didnt have Christmas presents bought, Christmas cards mailed out, etc… Thank you for reminding me what its really about.
I am just glad to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with expectations. At the end of an argument with my husband, and him saying “What exactly do you want?” I admitted to having such high expectations I couldn’t even see the top of them. Rather than expecting Him (Jesus) I was expecting everybody else to do for me what only Christ came to do.
Blessings. (btw I will feature this post on my blog one day in January)
Am loving your blog.
God bless you & your wonderful family!
Thank you, Jacinta! Fun to meet new blog friends.