Just like every birth story is different, every home buyer/seller's story is unique as well. Ours began 9 months ago when I stated simply that we were ready to see however He would choose to answer us in this desire to move and give our boys a little more room to grow and a little more space outdoors.
I think when we say we are open to however the Lord leads, what we really mean is: However You lead, Lord, as long as it doesn't cause much pain and discomfort.
At least, I think that may have been what I meant.
We are freshly on the other side of the move...boxes barely unpacked and internet still not up and no one able to find anything and lots of shock and temper tantrums (from the kids too, ha)...and I can simply say: I may not have walked through this had I known just how hard it'd be.
It's not unlike pregnancy or the arrival of your much anticipated baby, really. And while I'm elated and grateful to be in a home we love, I'm not completely without fear and a little unrest. In the same way you long for that little one for months or years, and finally, painfully, bring him into the world...there is simultaneously joy and pain, the finish line and a starting line, self-assurance and utter doubt, a sense that you've witnessed a miracle that only God can orchestrate, and yet somehow still fearful that it's all more than you can handle.
I'm there right now...in the paradox of believing and disbelieving.
Because, really, life can be complex and every decision is a "yes" to one and a "no" to another. Everything worth doing comes with a mixed bag of sacrifices and adjustments in expectations. It always requires more than you think you can withstand. If it didn't, we'd never strive for anything because nothing would feel out of reach.
There is a cost to everything. And you know I can't let the opportunity slide without stating the obvious: When we think that our present circumstances are too costly, think on the Cross. The most worthy of all things to have is redemption in Christ....and that, my friend, has been fully paid for on your behalf.
My pastor said today, "We serve a God that leads us into the storm so that we might know His faithfulness." The storm doesn't scare Jesus; it obeys his command. Such a familiar passage of scripture but for so many reasons, now a vivid reminder.
We would be wise to count it grace and mercy that the Lord would not spare us the very paths that would lead us to Himself.
And I realize I'm doing a terrible job filling you in, dear reader, on the details of our move: why it took so much longer than expected, why there were so many obstacles, why we didn't get as far out into the country as we had hoped, why our home is not much bigger than the one we were in before, and why we are still waiting on some things to resolve and play out in this whole walk of faith. Someday, maybe, I'll have the energy and distance to tell the story, but for now, I'm still in the newborn phase...barely sleeping and putting one foot in front of the other, while remembering to breathe it all in and marvel.
(You can read back through some of the behind the scenes of #operationsimonsinthecountry at my Instagram feed.)
Because of grace,