“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

On my 14th wedding anniversary this summer, Troy and I were in Ft. Worth, TX, attending a NAUMS conference with fellow Board members of our school, and listening to the teaching of Dr. Rob Rienow of Visionary Family Ministries. We had no idea what an impact his encouragement to us would be that day. I couldn’t have known that the Lord would encourage my weary mothering heart through Dr. Rienow in such a compelling way so that I would clearly see God’s provision when finding out I was pregnant with our sixth several weeks later. There is nothing–NOTHING–that brings hope and motivation like biblical truth.

I’ve recently finished reading one of Dr. Rienow’s books, Visionary Parenting: Capture a God-Sized Vision for Your Family. It is so much more than a how-to book on correction and discipline…it is a power-packed book on the biblical vision for family. I so appreciate Dr. Rienow’s biblicity as well as his practical theology. These are some of the key issues the book address and gives encouragement for:

Your family as a discipleship center. 

A child learns what is important through the family schedule.

Do your kids love what you love?

Family worship is the intersection of a right relationship with God and a right relationship with family.

Family worship is the foundation of worship in the church.

Discipline that disciples is consistent.

Do these topics intrigue you? Do they feel convicting? They are to me.

And how about this…Dr. Rienow quotes Charles Spurgeon:

“The Christian family was the bulwark of godliness in the days of the puritans, but in these evil times hundreds of families of so-called Christians have no family worship, no restraint upon growing sons, and no wholesome instruction or discipline. How can we hope to see the kingdom of our Lord advance when His own disciples do not teach His gospel to their own children? Oh, Christian men and women, be thorough in what you do and know and teach! Let your families be trained in the fear of God and be yourselves ‘holiness unto the Lord’; so shall you stand like a rock amid the surging waves of error and ungodliness which rage around us.”

Sometimes as moms, we simply put one foot in front of the other, and press on in daily tasks, chores, and training of our children. Visionary Parenting is a mental break, an opportunity for you to reset your mind on what this is all about. It is both theological and practical, from one parent in the trenches to another.

I love the beginning of the last chapter in Visionary Parenting:

“We now need to extend our vision beyond our family and our children. God did not create the family as an end in itself. God’s purposes for your family and for your children reach far beyond the particular life you have together in this time and place.”

I couldn’t agree more! We are ultimately in the diligent work of training our children, raising our families, and striving as godly parents—not to simply have godly families we can be proud of or enjoy. No, we are called to a higher purpose for His glory and renown! I’m so thankful for Rob Rienow and Visionary Family Ministries, and for the work God is doing in this generation through their faithfulness to the Word of God.

I am thrilled to be giving away 2 amazing resource packages from Visionary Family Ministries. Here are the Giveaway Details…Enjoy!

I. Books

Visionary Parenting: Capture a God-Sized Vision for Your Family, by Dr. Rob Rienow
Visionary Marriage: Capture a God-Sized Vision for Your Marriage, by Rob & Amy Rienow
When They Turn Away: Drawing Your Adult Child Back to Christ, by Rob Rienow

II. Videos

VISIONARY FAMILY DVD SET BUNDLE – (Visionary Parenting, Visionary Marriage, Never Too Late, and Single Parenting)
(Valued at $199!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

A dear new friend asked to come observe one of my homeschool days, since she too schools several older children with toddlers and infants at her feet.

I will be honest; I was a little more than anxious about it.

I know what my home days are like. (You may remember, we are part of a Classical UMS school, so the kids are at home every other day…) I know how loud the crying can get, how chaotic it can feel, how destroyed my house ends up looking, how frazzled I can be, how much disciplining I may have to do, how impatient I often feel, how disorganized I wish I wasn’t, and how discouraged some days can leave me…

…And my friend wanted to come observe my homeschool day.

I was fully aware that she knows loud. She knows correction and discipline. She knows disorganization. She knows mess. She has seven kids under 11…she knows.

But, there’s something about inviting another into your own messy, imperfect, frustrating, noisy, challenging world that can be a homeschool day. The home day prior to her coming was one of those days. It proved LONG and arduous, with shedding of tears by most, and hours of of clean up following. How would she possibly benefit from seeing how not well I do it all?

But God moves in mysterious ways. He is always at work in our weaknesses to show His great faithfulness.

Simply put, here’s what I learned:

1) We should always train our children as if someone was observing us. Because, Someone always is.

While there is no way we could’ve “faked” a compellingly easy homeschool day, we did experience a smoother, more encouraging day of school. Here are some reasons why:

• I got dressed in real clothes–as for a job–and showed up to my day of homeschooling, treating the work ahead with great value.
• I spoke clearly and directly to my children, and lowered my voice. I focused on edifying speech, and threw out the wasted words of complaining.
• I proactively encouraged.
• I didn’t check email or complete housework. My kids had my full attention.

2) Our imperfect chaos, shortcomings, and striving for excellence IS encouraging to others.

Instead of cubicles and orderly checklists, my friend observed an organic family structure at the kitchen table, taking turns with mom, taking turns playing with the baby, taking turns stretching the limbs of the mind in the ebb and flow of a self-paced school day. She graciously shared that seeing my infant scatter toys throughout the house was beautiful. That all the messiness of my life was encouraging. Amen to God making loveliness of all that we want to sweep under the rug.

Praise God we are meant to live in community– as mothers, as homeschooling families, as Christians.

Transparency and honest hospitality may be the very vessel in which God encourages another while transforming your pride in humbling sanctification. So, go ahead…you have nothing to be afraid of, nothing to hide.

We don’t have it stenciled on our kitchen wall, or framed sweetly for all to see. It’s not memorized or talked of regularly, but it’s there when we need it. It’s at the ready when we, as a family, experience discouragement in teaching and training our kids. The tool I speak of is a Mission Statement:

“Think of a Mission statement as a GPS. Most of us would not attempt to start a business, launch an organization, or embark on an adventure without some defined purpose or clear direction of where you are headed. It’s not wise to enter into choppy waters without a compass! In the same way, the back-to-school family needs to have unified purpose and goals for the school year.”

Want to read the one our family wrote? Come join me at The Better Mom today, as I share the why and how of writing a back to school mission statement.

I’m so blessed that you’re here! I invite you to subscribe to GraceLaced!

If you missed the 3 possible misconceptions, please read Is There An Ideal Homeschooling Parent? Part 1.

What the “Ideal” Homeschooling parent IS…

1. The “ideal” homeschooling parent is purposed with conviction and mission.

There is no doubt about it, you will experience discouragement, weariness, and sometimes an outright second-guessing of your decision to educate your child. It has been said: “Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.” There will indeed be times this year when you may feel that it is IMPOSSIBLE to be your child’s teacher.

May I encourage you with something practical that our family does? Troy and I really believe in Mission Statements. To write one as a family is to bring your family’s purpose into sharp focus, a focus that can be lost in the midst of discouragement and challenges. A written mission statement based on what is True and Worthy can be a powerful tool for re-alignment when our hearts deceive us and we are tempted to give up. It helps us remember WHY we are doing what we’re doing, and WHAT are priorities really are.

(Be sure to come back on Saturday to hear more about Family Mission Statements, and to read our own family’s version!)

2. The “ideal” homeschooling parent is a lead worshiper.

It was the Classical teacher’s chief aim to embody the truths he was teaching his pupil. If our desire as parents is to see our children become worshipers of Christ, we must be their example of what it is to walk with our Savior.

What would your children say is characteristic of a life in Christ? Would they say it is marked with joy? Do they observe that it is one of trust in the midst of trials? Would they describe it as the ONLY means of LIFE? Most importantly, would they recognize that sorrow over sin is comforted only in the sufficiency of Christ’s blood?

Our kids will learn many many facts, subjects, and skills this school year, but will they learn about their deep need for Christ and His redeeming love through your example? Worship and love for Christ and his Word is not simply taught; it’s CAUGHT as well. In the same way I encourage myself, I pray that we as mothers and fathers will be the example of life-long learning in the gloriousness of Christ. That our worship of Him would do what no textbook could ever accomplish.

3. The “ideal” homeschooling parent is diligent to train, with or without immediate results. 

While it may seem obvious, it must be said: Parenting IS our job. Breaking up fights, correcting, disciplining, teaching them to clean their rooms, and cleaning up messes are NOT inconvenient tasks simply because your kids are interrupting your agenda. THEY ARE THE AGENDA. Not in a our-kids-are-at-the-center-of-everything kind of way, but in that the goal is not to simply get through with parenting as quickly as possible so that, in their perfection, they will require no work from you at all.

Results, in any worthy endeavor, are rarely immediate. In parenting, it is truly designed that way! God gave you children as infants that grow up to become young adults in your home because it takes that long to train them. The sooner we shift our mindset in this area, the more free we will be to embrace our roles as moms and dads.

The goal of teaching your child at home, is not necessarily to “arrive” at some point of EASE and EFFORTLESSNESS in schooling. Hear me for what I mean: Yes, it will get more manageable as your routine firms up. Yes, it will get easier as your children learn to obey your authority as teacher………But that CAN’T be our focus as co-teachers. It IS OUR JOB to teach and train them repeatedly, even when it feels unrewarded, even when we are tempted to think there are other things more worthy of our time.

AND FINALLY…..

I will simply point out the obvious answer to the question: WHO IS THE IDEAL HOMESCHOOLING PARENT?

The answer, in my opinion is this:

The ideal homeschooling parent is the parent that knows he or she is IMPERFECT and NOT IDEAL to the core, and only capable of answering the call to such a worthy task as this, through the daily sanctifying work of Christ!

I hope these excerpts from my talk to the parents of our school has served to encourage you in whatever role you are currently playing in training and teaching your child.

“God’s callings are his enablings.” -Charles Spurgeon        

I’m so blessed that you’re here! I invite you to subscribe to GraceLaced!

What The Ideal Parent IS NOT….

1. The ideal homeschooling parent is not necessarily gifted at homeschooling or a natural at teaching.

One of the big misconceptions in education may be that those who choose to educate their kids at home are either naturally good at it, have more patience than other parents, or have extra time on their hands. This is simply not true. Those of us who choose to take a deliberate role in the education of our children do so out of conviction, not convenience. Do not buy into the lie that you are not equipped to be your child’s teacher. Or the thought that you don’t have the right disposition for it. You are qualified to be your child’s teacher, simply because God has entrusted you to be his/her parent. There is no one more fit to train, discipline, disciple, mold, love, encourage, correct, model, and inspire…than you, the parent. And as for disposition? Educating your child may be the very vehicle through which God chooses to mold YOU into the parent he desires you to be. See it through this lens, and your school year will be very different than what it would be otherwise.

2. The ideal homeschooling parent is not always seen with well-behaved children.

You may have heard it said that indicatives always inform the imperatives, which is to say, our beliefs reflect our methods. If we believe that our greatest goal is to have well-behaved children, we will use any means of shame, scolding, punishment, or threatening to achieve our goal. We may achieve our goal…but lose their hearts. Instead, if we recognize that a child acts and speaks out of the overflow of his heart as it says in Luke 6, we will use God’s word to instruct and correct the hearts of our children, continually drawing them to the greatest need in their lives. Teaching our children MUST include correction and discipline. It is never simply academic. However, when it is the heart we are after, then teaching our children at home becomes the perfect opportunity for such a privileged pursuit.

What we believe about what they ultimately need will determine how we go about parenting. So, fret not if your child is a work in progress. He should be! As should you and I! Let’s not seek to present simply well-behaved children, but apply ourselves to the work of leading our children’s hearts to the throne of God.

3. The ideal homeschooling parent does not need to be educated in theology.

Most of us were raised in a generation and culture that saw the local church as the primary means of teaching our children spiritual truths. Many of us grew up in families that never worshiped together unless at church, and by worship, I mean getting to church, and splitting up to into all separate departments. As with the first misconception, we must recognize that we are, as parents, absolutely qualified to teach our children the Word of God. In fact, we are commanded to in Deuteronomy 4:6…

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

All our pursuits in educating our children are in vain if we fail to lead them to the worthiest subject of study: The Lord himself. Catechism questions, assignments that wrestle with attributes of God, and the like, should inspire you to dig deeper into the Word of God with your children. Sometimes, those will be the absolute most precious moments of your homeschooling day. A theology degree is not necessary to teach your children the truth of God’s Word; an obedient trust in its authority IS!

Join me tomorrow for Part 2, as I counter these three misconceptions with three qualities that will help a parent THRIVE and not just SURVIVE teaching and training her children at home!

I’m so blessed that you’re here! I invite you to subscribe to GraceLaced!

It all begins at home.

Our school board is in TX, soaking up encouragement at a conference for University-Model Schools:

…to be diligent in discipleship and worship in the home
…to fulfill the great commission starting with our own marriage and family
…to rest on the sufficiency of God’s Word
…to continue responding to the call of parent-based education with courage and excellence.

This week has served as great fuel for responding to the tasks the Lord has called us to. Are you struggling to love the work that must be done — whether it be starting your homeschool year, making difficult choices for your family, or simply tackling a chore at home? Regardless of the task, it all begins inside before it extends outside. The home must be nurtured for ministry to be furthered; the heart leads the the hands.

It all begins at home.

Do you tend to think that little ones (who don’t read and may not even talk yet) are too young to understand God’s Word? Nothing could be further from the truth! I’m kicking off a series on how to read the Bible with children through the ages over at The Better Mom today. My post today shares tips and resources for reaching your 0-3 yr. olds:

“If you’ve been around a child between newborn to 3 yrs. old, you know the words that characterize this age group: curious, short attention spans, unable to sit still, energetic, noisy, playful, inquisitive. If you tend to think of the Bible as dry, boring, academic, serious, and complicated, then reading the Bible with your infant or toddler may seem like a practice in futility. However, if you know God’s word to be a vibrant, adventurous, humorous, inspired story of God’s redemptive love…well, then you will find reading the Bible to your little one to be a life-transforming investment for both you as the parent, and your children.”

Please join me at The Better Mom today for all my tips and recommendations for capturing the heart of your littlest ones with the Bible!

Don’t get me wrong– we are making every effort to lay low and take it easy, but our focus and motivation is different; it’s to press on, not to retreat. There is truly a difference:

 Renewal’s emphasis is improving, striving, recharging, remembering

Relaxing’s emphasis is letting go, clearing out, releasing, forgetting

Do you want to know how to make your summer a time that renews and recharges your family? a time that rewards hard work with renewed vision and not with laziness?

Please join me at The Better Mom today to refocus your R & R this summer!